By Tania Kotsos
UPDATED: NOV 2020
Understanding emotions is key to directing your emotional world rather than being at its mercy. Human beings are emotional beings. This means your emotions are part of your mental make-up and you are likely to have already felt most emotions at varying degrees—the good, the bad and the ugly. Becoming the director of your inner world does not mean you will only have 'feel-good' emotions. Your goal is aimed at first understanding emotions so as to calm your 'emotional sea' rather than struggling to stay afloat during a 'storm', and in time rising above it.
It's a misconception that the reward for learning to be more mindful is unrelenting happiness. Not understanding emotions is one reason why many people quit their attempts to transform their lives at the first major hurdle they encounter, because it does not match this promise of uninterrupted happiness. The truth is, however, that as long as you're having a physical 3D world experience you are unlikely to always be happy. After all, happiness is a reaction to an outside event, which will in time change as all things do, and so your happiness will follow suit.
The Law of Polarity tells us that everything comes in pairs of opposites that are the same in nature and only different in degree. This Universal Law of Polarity equally applies to the inner world of your emotions. Some of the pairs of opposite emotions you are likely to experience more often are happiness and sadness, love (adoration) and dislike or hate, calmness and anxiety, confidence and insecurity, calm and irritability and courage and cowardice. All these pairs are the same in nature, only different in degree or rate of vibration. Pick any emotion and you will find that what you may have up until now deemed to be its opposite and separate to it, is in fact the same emotion with a different face. This is fundamental to managing and understanding emotions.
The Law of Rhythm tells us that the pendulum swings between the opposite poles of polarity. One pole of an emotion unconsciously gives rise to its opposite pole, even more so when taken to an extreme, because ‘extremes meet’ and 'the measure of the pendulum's swing to the right is the measure of the swing to the left'. This explains why obsessive love can quickly turn to hate and back again or why when at times you feel extremely happy but then quickly feel sad. The reason is that these pairs of seemingly opposite emotions are in fact the same in nature only different in degree, as are all pairs of emotions. And when one emotion is expressed to an extreme, it will give rise to a 'rollercoaster ride' between itself and its opposite courtesy of the operations of the Law of Rhythm. This then is the key to understanding emotions.
The Law of Vibration tells us that everything vibrates at a specific rate of vibration of frequency and this applies to your emotions as well. Positive emotions have a higher rate of vibration and hence are 'lighter' or more subtle, while negative emotions have a lower rate of vibration and hence are 'heavier' or more dense. You have probably already noticed that positive emotions such as love and courage lift you upwards and make you feel 'light', whereas their respective opposites of hate and fear weigh you down and make you feel much 'heavier'.
We also know from the Law of Vibration that higher rates of vibration have directive power over lower rates of vibration. In the context of managing emotions, this means positive emotions have greater directive power over negative emotions, which in turn means, positive emotions can more easily cancel out or negate their negative counterparts. You need a ‘lesser amount’ of a positive emotion to cancel out its negative counterpart, and a relatively ‘greater amount’ of a negative emotion to cancel out its positive equivalent. By understanding emotions in this way, you realise that for this this to hold true in your experience, you must aspire to maintain an internal world of more positive emotions, otherwise you have nothing with which to 'cancel' your negative emotions.
To better your understanding of emotions, it is useful to think of positive emotions as being higher emotions, negative emotions as lower emotions, and when either side is expressed extremely, you have extreme emotions. The idea of higher, lower and extreme emotions does away with thinking of positive and negative emotions in the sense of good and bad. Any one emotion has its own rate of vibration which is either ‘lighter’ and so higher or ‘heavier’ and so lower than any other emotion of its own kind. For instance love is a relatively higher emotion than simply liking something, but that does not mean that 'to like' is a negative emotion in comparison—it is just lower in its rate of vibration when compared to love.
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When understanding emotions, it is perhaps most important to understand that any emotion when expressed extremely tends to have a negative or 'heavy' undertone than its more balanced counterpart. For instance, extreme love is expressed as obsession, extreme confidence as arrogance, and extreme courage as recklessness. All extreme emotions weigh you down whether their origin is a positive or negative emotion. For instance, a more balanced expression of love is a higher emotion than the expression of extreme or obsessive love—the former lifts you higher whereas the latter weighs you down. You can even say that obsessive love is heavier and hence lower in vibration than simply disliking someone. Understanding that all emotions, when expressed extremely, weigh you down is key to managing emotions.
As long as you are having a physical 3D world experience, you are likely to experience most emotions to varying degrees. When you understand that all emotions are a relative experience, you can better understand your own emotions. This means that you cannot know happiness without having known sadness. Nor can you know what calmness is in the absence of having felt anxiety and so on. Likewise, you cannot eliminate all sadness from your life without getting rid of all happiness as well, and so on. The same applies to all your emotions.
Understanding and accepting your emotions does not mean you must endeavour to not have emotions. Nor does it mean that each time you feel happy, you can now expect to feel sad. Remember that 'less happy' is a lower vibration of 'happy' but it's still happy. What you can do is endeavour to maintain an inner peace and sense of calm balance in your emotions that rests on a general disposition of all those higher emotions that lift you and your experience of life higher.
States such as joy, love, gratitude and faith, while generally considered to be emotions, are more akin to inner states of being that are undisturbed by outside events. This is the strongest foundation of inner peace and the most fertile mental soil in which to plant the seeds of your desires! Consciously maintaining an inner state of joy, love and faith while always counting your blessings no matter how mundane they seem, makes accepting and understanding emotions that may arise, much easier.
Life has its ups and downs and accept you may feel sad or frustrated or angry at times and that it's okay. Your aim is not to wallow in negative emotions for too long lest they weigh you down so much that getting up is more difficult. Give yourself a break and learn to see your extreme or negative emotional reactions as areas in your life that are most likely under the influence of unhealthy beliefs that you must reprogram or transcend by remembering who you really are—your True Self.
Having emotions is fundamental to a more complete experience of life and they are also important in creating your ideal reality. Understanding emotions is the first step in learning to controlling your emotions by rising above them to your True Self.
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