By Tania Kotsos
PUBLISH DATE: 25 NOV 2020
You can learn how to manifest someone or a specific change in your relationship—this is truly your definitive guide. You may believe that to manifest changes in your relationship with a specific person you must convince, beg or even manipulate that person to change, through the force of your words or 'tricks' of your mind. You may even believe that there is no way to manifest someone or change your relationship with them if the other person is not willing to change. But let me tell you that to change your relationship or manifest someone, there is no one to change but yourself. There is no need to force, trick, manipulate or convince anyone else to change and in fact doing so will have limited if any result. All you need to change is your consciousness, because everyone is a mirror reflecting your consciousness back to you. Everyone is you pushed out.
FURTHER READING: EVERYONE IS YOUR MIRROR
In the words of the New Thought author, Neville Goddard: "There is no one to change but self; that self is simply your awareness, your consciousness and the world in which it lives is determined by the concept you hold of self. It is to consciousness that we must turn as to the only reality." When you know the truth that in your experience of reality, which is the only experience you can ever have, everything and everyone is but a projection of your consciousness, how can you ever expect someone (or anything) else to change if you do not change your consciousness first? And to change your consciousness is to change what you believe, what you think, what you assume, and hence what you feel and what you expect, through your wonderful imagination.
Instead of asking how to manifest someone, ask yourself 'what am I assuming about that person and about relationships?'. Whenever you experience something in your relationship that you wish was different, again ask yourself 'what am I assuming?'. If for instance your partner is not treating you with respect, ask yourself what you are assuming about him/her and about yourself? The chances are you assume that they do not respect you and you may even assume that you are not worthy of their respect. And what you assume in your inner world, is what is assumed or attained in your outer world. And your assumptions are just another word for the core beliefs of your personal belief system.
Whenever you approach the idea of how to manifest someone with the attitude that you must convince them of your worth, or that you must imagine them desiring you even if you believe they don't, you have missed your mark. Likewise, whenever you try to force or manipulate your partner or anyone into changing, whether physically, verbally or with the power of your mind, you have again missed your mark. Why? Because you have descended to the degree of consciousness of 'me and outside things' and have left the unity of your True Self behind. Little if anything changes when you take this route. Why? Because you are still assuming that he/she does not respect you in this case.
So when learning how to manifest someone or something from a specific person, what you must change is NOT the other person. What you must change is what you assume about that person, what you assume about relationships, what you assume about yourself. And you can do so at any moment. When you know everyone is your mirror, that everyone is a projection of your consciousness, you know that when you change your inner world assumptions, your outer world will reflect those changes. Instead of using argument or force, raise your awareness each time you want to see a change and be that change inwardly! Assume the consciousness of the change you want to see. Assume the consciousness of being in a loving relationship with the specific someone you are wanting to learn how to manifest.
To be the change you want to see in your relationship, you must convince yourself of that change. In staying with the above example, convince yourself that your partner respects you; that he/she adores you and showers you with all the respect you could ever hope for. Imagine a scene that implies that you already have their respect, really feel their respect in that moment until it feels so real that it begins to take on the tones of reality, and believe you are respected by them in every way. With this end in mind, you can use the manifesting technique of creative visualization. You can even revise the past and imagine they have always respected you—that their respect has never been up for question.
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What I am going to tell you in the next few paragraphs is perhaps the only method you will ever need for manifesting someone, so keep an open mind and pay close attention. While the aforementioned technique is very powerful and can be used by all means, many people find it very challenging to assume and maintain a specific state when it comes to a specific person they have feelings for. Matters of the heart tend to be the 'trickiest' for most, especially when you find yourself stuck on the question of how to manifest someone, trying all the techniques you find in the hope that something will work to 'convince this someone' to love you.
As a result, even when changing their assumptions about others, many people still focus on changing a specific person because it's that person they specifically desire. And so they use this method as just another 'trick' to change this 'outside person' while trying to fool themselves that they believe he/she is a projection of their consciousness. Even if they attain their imaginings and the specific person treats them with utmost respect and adoration, their self-concept has not changed. Let's see what this means and what happens as a result.
So far I have focussed more on how to manifest specific changes in someone's actions or attitude towards you. Let's turn now exclusively to how to manifest someone specific by looking at your self-concept. Say the person you love is not interested in you or if they once were, they no longer are. This has nothing to do with them and everything to do with you, and more specifically your self-concept, which is what you assume to be true about you.
Look within yourself and you will find a self-concept or personal belief along the lines of 'whenever I love someone that person is sooner or later not interested in me' and lo and behold it manifests in the 3D world. And to make matters worse, you say 'you see, I was right'.
By trying to convince yourself that the specific person you desire desires you too, you are only focussing on the outside effect without changing the self-concept that caused it in the first instance. And sooner or later the same self-concept will come up. This is why some people have temporary success in manifesting someone but then things unravel.
The 'how' in how to manifest someone has everything to do with you, and more specifically your self-concept. Instead of assuming the specific person you desire, desires you too, change your self-concept altogether. In this example, what you can do instead is assume the state that any man or woman that you love, is crazy in love with you in return.
Your new belief or self-concept can look something like this: 'Any person I love adores and loves me too. It's so wonderful to always be so blessed in my relationships'. Can you feel how more powerful this assumption is than assuming a specific person loves you? This is because your self-concept has everything to do with you, whereas the specific person has everything to do with him/her outside of you. The question is how can you but not manifest that someone you desire if this were your belief.
When you believe your new self-concept nothing can unravel going forward, whereas if you try change one specific person, the results are usually temporary because your underlying negative belief will win at the first opportunity. And even if your belief doesn't have the time to rear its head in this relationship, it will in the next if for whatever reason you change partner. Why? Because you only convinced yourself of one specific person loving you, not anyone you love.
There is usually no area of manifesting one's reality that breeds more attachment and anxiety than focussing on someone specific in an attempt to create some kind of change in your relationship with them. By turning inwards to your self-concept instead of trying to change them through your imagination, you guard yourself from becoming attached to the outcome with that specific person.
In fact the only reason you may feel so attached, anxious, impatient and unconvinced when trying to visualize a specific person is because your underlying negative self-concept is wholly contradicting what you are imagining. And since you are imagining only for a few minutes a day whereas your self-concept has been with you nearly all your life and has become part of your identity without you even realising it, then it is little wonder why the self-concept 'wins' sooner or later.
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If you focus on a specific person loving you and ask yourself 'Does this person love me?' you seldom feel convinced of your answer. Why? Because you are treating them as separate to you. In contrast, when you assume the self-concept that any person you love, loves and adores you in return, and ask yourself the very same question if that specific person loves you, your answer is "of course they love me". Why? Because in accordance with your consciousness anyone you love, loves you in return. And that person can be no exception because they too are a projection of your consciousness. This then creates a shift within you from 'how to manifest someone' to 'I can manifest anyone'.
Can you see how trying learn how to manifest someone or change a specific person is inadvertently focussing on the outside while changing your self-concept altogether is focussing on the inside? When all is said and done, when you set out to manifest someone or change your relationship do not try to change anyone or anything. You don't even have to change your beliefs about specific people. In fact doing so may prove counter-productive because when you set out to change someone you are indirectly declaring them as being separate to you.
You can imagine or change someone specific as much as you want, using any technique you choose, but if you do not change your underlying self-concept, the result will sooner or later be more of the same unwanted circumstances you are trying to change. Once again, let this be your new understanding: to change anything in my life, there is no one to change but myself!
The most complete answer to how to manifest someone is to assume the consciousness that you can and do attract anyone you desire, just as you desire. It is in fact also the simplest answer because if you focus on the specific person as if outside of you, then it becomes far more complex because you fall the trap of having to take their specific personality into account and the list goes on and on.
When you convince yourself in this way of what you want to experience in a relationship or any other area of your life, you can change anything. It can be no other way when everything and everyone is projecting your consciousness. If you look in the mirror and see yourself frowning, can you coax your reflection in the mirror into smiling—no amount of convincing can achieve that. But if you yourself smile, your reflection will smile back at you without force or effort on your part! Once again, can you see the difference? The former is focussing on the outside while the latter is focussing on the inside. Rest assured that outside change—any change—is an inside job.
In the words of the New Thought author, Neville Goddard: "Change your conception of yourself and you will automatically change the world in which you live. Do not try to change people; they are only messengers telling you who you are. Revalue yourself and they will confirm the change."